NEWSLETTER
April 2026

I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship with the Nike slogan Just Do It. On the one hand, I think it’s terrible advice. Sometimes we shouldn’t just do it -- it feels tone deaf in a way -- completely ignoring how you feel. And as someone who really cares about how you feel (and how I feel), the advice of Just Do It is beyond the pale (an expression my grandfather loved).

But, there is the other part of me that feels that Just Do It is actually perfect. Stop over analyzing it, procrastinating, what ifing, and JUST DO IT. I don't know about you, but I'm really good at finding reasons not to do it -- I excel at excuses.

I have many 'its' -- you probably do too. I'm not going to give you my list of 'things Melissa zealously avoids' because a) it's boring, b) probably too long, and c) I don't want to be held accountable for everything (my husband, who avoids nothing and seems to have swallowed a Just Do It pill at birth, is probably thinking: just give them the list, Melissa, and get started on it!).

OK, I'll give you one. One of my 'its' is social media. I don’t need to go into my long, sordid history with social media –- no, it’s not really long, or sordid, or particularly interesting. But, suffice to say, I’ve really done no social media for years.

And it’s silly to go into all the reasons why I dislike posting on social media. The list is long -- top highlights include: time, feeling like I get sucked into the apps and lose my sense of focus and grounding, and feeling weird that I’m selling something. The best word I have (after I’ve written how many thousands of words?) to describe how it makes me feel is: icky. Posting makes me feel icky.

But, I started working with someone new this year -- to help me branch out a bit: do more talks, workshops, and generally market myself better. Because the truth is, I do a bit of a lousy marketing job. I’m more focused on writing, working, creating events -– the stuff I really enjoy –- and not on the stuff that you need to actually bring people in the door. And this woman is wonderful -– she totally gets how I feel about social media and is in the nicest way possible, telling me to get over myself. Just do it.

Because how can anyone find you if you don’t actually share what you do. Fair. Fair point.

So, I’m doing it. I’m doing the thing that makes me feel kind of ‘icky.' And then, because there are no coincidences, as I was writing this newsletter, this piece showed up in my inbox (from my dear friend Cara Bradley):

'Show Up and Suck'

Show up and suck.

Yep. That’s the plan.

Most days, the thing you’re avoiding isn’t hard.

It just exposes you.

You don’t want to feel awkward.

You don’t want to fall on your face.

I get it.

I’ve published Sparks I didn’t love.

I’ve reread a line and cringed.

Still, I hit publish.

I’ve given talks with my voice shaking.

And somehow got through it and even got paid.

I tell new yoga teachers this.

Sucking at first is part of starting.

Your action for the day.

Pick one thing you’ve been avoiding.

Make it small enough that you can’t make a drama out of it.

Do it.

Even if you suck.

So, that’s how I’m going to approach social media. I’m just going to do it and be consistent. And, if I suck, who cares. I've done lots of hard things -- scary things. I skied down a mountain in Austria absolutely petrified. I can do this. And so can you.💗

This photo was taken last month at Guptill's near Albany, NY. If that name doesn't mean anything to you -- it should!! Guptill's is the largest roller rink in the world -- it's been family owned since 1951.

I know I shared last month about the twins and all their bowling so I thought it's only fair to share a bit about Ben and his roller blading.

Like me, Ben is more of an 'indoor cat.' When I mentioned going to the beach for Memorial Day weekend, he gave me this big eye roll, "You know how I feel about sand and sun, Mom." And I do. I actually felt the same way about the beach until maybe five or six years ago when I decided to become a beach person.

I mentioned that Rochester (a potential college destination) will get a ton of snow. "Ugh, it's fine. I'll use the underground tunnels."

My dad was the same. I actually kind of love that their appears to be a genetic component to 'indoor catness.'

But, Ben loves his roller blading. When we take trips, we plot out bowling alley locations AND roller rinks. We were in Rhode Island for his 18th birthday (see photo) and rather than go to the beach (we were there for our annual beach vacation with my in-laws), we drove an hour to Providence to go roller blading.

The piece de resistance, however, was when I sat down with Ben to narrow down his college list: we created a rubric of 'what is important to Ben'.' Number one on the list (no joke -- this is real): proximity to a roller rink!

Here's what I love. I love that Ben has chosen an activity that is just about him. He's not out to impress anyone or compete. It just his joy. I love that rollerblading has created an opportunity for Andy to spend a few hours each weekend with Ben (the roller rink we go to is about 40 minutes away). And, I love that occasionally the twins, who actually strongly dislike roller blading, will accompany Ben because they love him.

And, if you are wondering if I ever get on roller blades -- the answer is yes! I am literally the worst skater ever. I hold onto the small child walker that is made for ages five and under. And I hold onto it like my life depends on -- because it does. I'm ridiculously slow -- don't even try and rush me or suggest I give up the wall. But, Ben will still skate next to me and keep me company. He's a good egg.🤍

A Book I LOVE: I Do Matter by Karen Murphy

"I am a victim of narcissistic abuse; I am not a helpless victim. Being a victim isn't my definition; I am defined as strong and resilient."

~ Karen Murphy

I've known Karen Murphy for quite some time. Years ago she attended fitness classes at a gym I co-owned. Later, she was the camp director at the summer camp my kids attended -- everyone knew Karen. Everyone. And then later as my friend and client. I've seen Karen during different phases of her life (and mine), and I have to say that the Karen I know now is just so impressive: brave, resilient, adventurous, and fun!

To write this very personal and honest book about her marriage to a narcissist is like a 27 out of 10 on the bravery meter.

I read this book in one sitting. In fact, I was lucky enough to be part of Karen’s advance reader team. I Do Matter is short, clear, honest, and incredibly impactful. Karen doesn’t just share the story of her marriage -- she offers a simple system to help readers heal from narcissistic abuse. She’s always said her intention in writing this book is to help people move forward: to become aware, process what happened, and not stay stuck in that narrative.

If you think you may be or have been in a narcissistic relationship (or someone you care about has), this book is a must have. Just learning about narcissism, specifically covert narcissism, has been so eye-opening for me.

Grab it on Amazon and please consider leaving Karen a review -- reviews are so important for new authors.

Check out I Do Matter here

*Each month I share a book/business/podcast that I love. There is no reciprocal gain that I receive from sharing. I do so because I want to support others doing wonderful things!

🍁 Get ready for October! 🍁

It's a little crazy that I'm sharing info about October already. Part of me is like what are you doing, Melissa?? Didn't 2026 just start?

But I also know how tricky it can be to carve out a few days -- especially when many of you are flying in from all over the country. Life is full, and fitting all the pieces together takes intention.

So, I’m sharing my October retreat dates early this year to give you time to think about it, plan, and see what might be possible.

This will be my 11th retreat -- I can't believe it!

So what actually happens at a retreat? Why do women keep coming back year after year?

We do a lot. There are activities designed to help you turn your brain off a bit -- sound baths, crafts (yes, really!), and dancing. There’s incredible food (I’m lucky to work with an amazing chef, John Banes -- and honestly, some women come back just for the meals).

But that’s not the real reason. The real draw is the connection.

It’s women coming together in a way that’s honest, vulnerable, and deeply compassionate. Listening. Laughing. Crying. Sharing stories, hopes, and visions for what’s next.

I could list all the words women use to describe how they feel during and after a retreat -- but they’re just words.

Women come back year after year because it’s something you have to experience to truly understand. And as much as it would be nice to take credit for that, I can’t. It’s not me. It’s the women who show up.

Curious?? Check it out here 👉🏻 October Retreat

And, if you aren't sure if a retreat is right for you or you have questions, I am happy to email, chat, text, etc. You can reply to this email with questions or you can click here to set up a short call with me.

I'd love to see you.💖