NEWSLETTER
May 2025

Today’s newsletter is inspired by an email my friend, Cara Bradley, sent me recently.

The title of the email was ‘You Don’t Know How Great You Are.’

Really, just the title alone hits me. Because she’s so right -– you don’t know how great you are.

Somehow we think that most of what we do is just ‘status quo,’ what’s expected. I know this for a fact because I’ve pointed out to friends, family members, and clients how incredible they are. How hard they work. How much patience and love they show even when it's not reciprocated.

How generous they are -- thoughtful.

I talk to a lot of people so I see it daily -– people going above and beyond -– and no one seems to think their actions are particularly noteworthy.

And, yes, I’m in the same boat. Sometimes. Other times, I’m like a cheerleading squad in my head -– 'look at all these projects you've juggled -- I can’t believe you pulled this off.’ ‘This crew is so lucky to always have a hot meal on the table –- you’re killing it, Melissa.’ ‘I think you may win the Nobel Peace prize for not screaming when it’s 9:30 and boys are wrestling in your bed and you just want to read your trashy romance novel and go to sleep.’ I do sometimes acknowledge even the silly, small stuff.

But I don't think I'm especially great and chances are that you don’t think so either. No, I don’t have ESP (yet) but I talk to enough people to know that you think it’s all in a day’s work. Not exceptional. Nothing of note.

And you’re wrong.

Because you actually do have a choice –- whether you see it that way or not. When it’s hard and you’re really tired, you could throw in the towel –- but you don’t. You care for your people even if they don’t appreciate it. You care for your animals –- you are so good to them. You go above and beyond at work because it’s not in you to let people down. You cook dinner when you’re tired and just want to sit on the couch. You bake cookies for the troop, you check in on friends, you fill out all the annoying forms for your kids -– the forms that make you want to poke your eyes out.

You start new jobs even though it’s super scary. You leave jobs even though that’s super scary too. You drive your friends an hour to chemo, sit for hours, and then drive them back several times a week for months. You leave your family and fly to Florida to sit with your mom in hospice.

You tell friends it’s going to be OK. You give hugs. You forgive. And then you wake up and do it all over again.

You know it’s true. And you think it’s just what everyone else does. It’s just part of being an adult.

Maybe it is. But I don’t think so. There’s always a choice -- even if it doesn’t feel like one. And nine times out of ten, whether you like it or not, even kicking and screaming, you go do the thing.

Your day is long. You navigate a lot. You do things you don’t want to do. Sometimes you do it all through a haze of grief or depression.

So, just take a moment and acknowledge that I’m right. I’m definitely not right all the time. Maybe 17% of the time I’m right. But this time, I am. You don’t know how great you are. But I do.

So, now we’ve settled it. You are great. So great. What do we do now? How about you wrap your arms around yourself (yes, I know it seems silly, but humor me) and say, "You know, Melissa’s right, I am pretty great. I can’t believe I forgot it for a minute (or a month or maybe years). But now I remember. I’m great."

Maybe you need to treat yourself to something special because you are so great. Orange sherbet, walking with your feet in the grass, an afternoon on the couch with a Coke Zero and your trashy romance novel. Just some suggestions.

Maybe you need to remind yourself how great you are a little more frequently. Maybe circle a date each month on your calendar for ‘I’m great day -- a celebration of ME.’ No, I’m not worried that you are going to get a big head and start strutting around like a rooster telling everyone and their mother how great you are. I can’t really see that happening. But, if you do, I’d love for you to tell me about it. Because that’s amazing! You can reply to this email!!

And if you'd like to check out Cara's daily email series, Sparked, that I absolutely love, click here.💗

I love May on my street. I live on a pretty small cul-de-sac, only nine houses, and most of the houses have peonies planted at the mailboxes.

I have no idea how long they've been there. We moved in 21 years ago and they were here. For all I know, the origianl builder in the 60's might have planted them.

I am a little obssessed with these peonies. When they start to bud, I get excited. And then there's that in between stage where they look ready to open but they are still holding back. And they might sport this almost there look for weeks.

They are in no rush.

And every May, the peonies' attitude of 'Yeah, I'm good. I'm in no rush,' serves as a reminder to me.

To just stop pushing and forcing. To enjoy the waiting. Relax. And, of course, because there are no coincidences, Cara Bradley shows up again in my inbox with another Spark that is just spot on.

She writes:

Waiting is harder than acting.

It takes guts to sit in the not-knowing.

To let life move first…

Let life come to you.

And watch what opens.

Oh boy is she spot on. As are my peonies. Quietly telling me: Cool your jets, Melissa. Cool your jets.

A Business I LOVE: Heather McMahon Coaching

"The beauty of NLP is that it recognizes the mind is not our enemy; it’s actually trying to protect us."

~ Heather McMahon

I met Heather when I was giving a talk about joy for my friend John's community. The whole group was filled with realtors and consultants looking to build their social media presence. And then there was Heather, a transformational mindset coach. She joined less for the social media help and more because she loves John and wanted to support him. A good egg.

Throughout my talk with the group, she kept putting little messages in the chat: 'Oh, I love this' or 'YES!' or 'You are so spot on!' She was so supportive and encouraging -- I had to reach out to her to connect. And we've been catching up and chatting ever since.

On one of our chats, Heather had recently come back from an NLP conference. I had no idea what NLP was so she started telling me all about it. I knew I had to share a bit about NLP and the work Heather does.

So, what is NLP? Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Neuro -- neurology, the nervous system, the mind

Linguistic -- language, verbal and non-verbal, how we

communicate with ourselves and others

Programming -- what our mind has been told to think and feel,

patterns of beliefs and behaviors

NLP creates a new way of thinking, feeling, believing, and being by helping to remove thought patterns that limit our potential. Our brains function like file cabinets, storing beliefs and emotional responses based on our experiences. For example, if a childhood need went unmet, we might unconsciously adopt the belief, “Don’t ask -- you won’t receive, you don’t matter.” Later in life, if we experience conflict with a coworker, our minds might automatically retrieve a file associating that person with tension or threat. These stored perceptions become what we call 'baggage.' Baggage blocks us from accessing our most empowered self. Holding onto it -- and the files that created it -- reinforces the internal programming that unconsciously shapes how we think, feel, and behave.

The beauty of NLP is that it recognizes that the mind is not our enemy; it’s actually trying to protect us. The mind created these patterns as survival strategies. But when those strategies become outdated, they hold us back.

NLP can be highly effective for weight loss, addiction, PTSD, and phobias to name a few.

Heather offers many different types of coaching in addition to NLP -- she's been working to help others transform for over 30 years! Click the button below to learn more about the work Heather does.

Check out Heather McMahon Coaching here

Is it time for a change??

Listen, if JOY feels far away lately, you’re not the only one.

Trust me!

Life can get busy, overwhelming, and sometimes heavy — and somewhere in the mix, how you feel doesn't even make your top ten 'priorities' list.

But how you feel actually does matter. Life flies by and, as my friend Alvina said on the last JOY SCHOOL call a couple weeks ago, you don't want your epitaph to be 'and she got everything done by the end.' (Thank you, Alvina -- you are the best!)

JOY SCHOOL offers you a way to consistently practice JOY. On your own time.

If you are ready for a change, click the button below.

I'd love to have you join me!

Check out JOY SCHOOL here!